Okay total sidebar posting – #9bucketsoffuckmecrazy <--- that's mine [NSFW]

[NSFW] – just so ya know…


So this twitter thing…

I am still getting used to it all. I mean, I get the tweeting, I get the engaging others and getting them to follow you. I get how it can be used as a marketing ploy. But I didn’t know how it all snapped together. I had pieces and was trying to figure out how to get it to ‘work’, ya know?


So enter Hawtie McHottie Tayte Hanson (from porn studio Cocky Boys/Cockyboys.com) where I commented – just because I was in a giggly mood and I happen to like Tayte Hanson on the CB site, I tweeted that I thought he was 9 buckets of fuck me crazy. Cause, well, he is.

And it clicked. I got a response! People started to retweet it. A light went on – I am a techie by nature so you’d think that I’d’ve figured this out sooner. Well, I guess I needed the right alignment of the stars or whatever, but it finally snapped. I get it now.

So thanks CockyBoys.com, Jake Jaxson and OF COURSE Tayte Hanson. ‘Cause you all are like #9bucketsoffuckmecrazy!

Now I know what to do… I’ll let the little grey cells work on it some more.

Who knew?

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A Tightening of the Screw… [NSFW]

So it’s been a while. I’ve been busy writing. I found a publisher that really seems to get what I am about as a writer. I don’t know if I’ll rate. But it’s something I’ll definitely work toward.

There was just a small problem. My book was too big. I get it. It’s a business. At my age I don’t wander around in a daze of euphoric writers bliss thinking that anything I put down onto digital paper is golden. That I’ll be adored by the masses. I mean, I write MALE on MALE Gay Lit Fic wtih a heavy slant on the erotic element of the story. I mean, I am a gay man. I need to write what I know. It is my world. Been my world since the first guy I boned back when I was a teenager back before the heady days of HIV and AIDS. So I got an eye opener of a entrance into all things gay when being that way wasn’t talked about openly nor was it even evident on TV. Okay, we had Billy Crystal’s Jody Campbell on Soap. He played it brilliantly if a bit over the top fey. But that character was a product of its time. Gay men were supposed to be the laughed at. It was the only way we were palatable back then.

Billy Crystal

Billy Crystal as Jody Campbell in the 70’s classic ‘Soap’

Yet, that never was an answer for me. It wasn’t who I was. Whatever that was at the time (hey, I was barely out of my teens, how the fuck did I know what I was – other than being into men). Being into men was about all I knew about myself back then. This was the era of Jeff Stryker and his huge porn cock from hell  – even though there ere plenty of other men who had bigger cocks and could fuck a helluva lot better than he could. Chad Douglas, much? That man was my wet dream of a fuck back then. As a gay boy I wanted to bed that porn star more than any other. It never happened, except in my head and in my hand. From what I’d heard he isn’t around any more (I don’t know if that’s true or not) but if it is, then maybe it was for the best that I never did get my wish.

chaddouglasplow    chaddouglas

So why the ramble about fucking? Well, it sort of colors the men in my works. Sex is important to humans – whether or not they choose to admit it. Being a gay author I have a playground to probe, prod and work through the vagaries of being a gay man in this world. Even going so far that in my first work I am seeking to get published is harking back to my youth and the mental ramblings that went through my brain while I was caught up in the euphoria that some other boy was just as interested in an intimate and physical relationship with me as I was with him. That was pretty heady stuff back then. I am sure that gay boys float on air as they discover their first loves and how incredible the simple act of fucking can make your heart soar. Fucking is great. In fact, it’s fucking great.

So with the MC’s of my story – Angels of Mercy, I am having to recall those heady days. The work begins as a contemplative piece. And therein lies the rub, I suppose. Not that any publisher has had a real chance to look at it. It is a book about GAY men written BY a gay man. I know it’s a hard fact to face but I am surrounded by female authors who are writing characters of which most of the work seem to have little in common with the world I grew up in. The world I surround myself with others like me. Not to disparage those author’s works, but inwardly I liken it to writing about a black Jewish three legged lesbian. I have absolutely no reference for me to even begin to hope to have an honest work. Yes, I get the counter argument that human frailties are human and that we have that element in common, despite the variances in our worldly experiences. But you see, that is the one element that I find in the whole m/m romance segment of the business. It has VERY little to do with me as a gay man. Other than it’s men poking and fucking other men. And even in that, it’s polite. The men are not messy. They are not really piggy. There is no cum play, watersports, and even the S/M elements simply don’t even scratch the surface of what men feel or more importantly don’t feel as they experience those elements of gay culture.




So when I heard about a publisher that wasn’t caught in the trap of the same old formula being reworked and reworked – with little hope of a singular voice to break out and really transform the genre, I decided to throw my hat in the ring. So I began to write. There might not be a publisher that will come within miles of it. Though I’ve had beta readers with positive, constructive commentary to assist in tightening it. But in that I have exclusively stuck to other gay men. It is this intrinsic truthiness (apologies to Mr. Colbert) that I am seeking. I am not writing for the audience that wants the formulaic shape shifter work. Nor am I writing for that singular vampire story that has been so overwrought that there is nothing really separating it from other work out there.

And I got it honestly. The three books that changed my life would prove prophetic in how I am writing today:

Gordon Merrick’s Charley and Peter series beginning with The Lord Won’t Mind (my views on M/M romance began here). John Rechy’s two masterworks – City of Night and The Sexual Outlaw. Three books that shaped my young gay boy world before I even put a toe out into that world.

LordWontMind cityofnightcover TheSexualOutloaw

These books color everything I do now. That isn’t to say that the works of Gore Vidal, EM Forester and Thomas Wolfe didn’t inspire. They most definitely did – and still do. Hell, TJ Klune is my go to right now. In fact, pretty much I am influenced by male authors because I find their voice speaks to my own. So along with TJ, Eric Arvin, Josh Lanyon, Jay Bell (a very personal fave) Ethan Day, Brent Hartinger, and Brad Vance, there are many others who’s works inspire. But those men I named give me something a bit more. I am deeply indebted to their creativity as it gives life to my own. That may make me sound gay militant. Maybe. But I don’t think so. As I said before, I am tired of translating other’s works into my own experiences. I can appreciate the work for itself, but it fails to completely inspire. Now give me a male protag struggling with his own gay maleness – and I’m all in.

With my work, Angels of Mercy, I wanted to do something really different. Different in that it has quite a bit of influence from my own experiences. My own sense of sexuality as  A MAN who desires and has sex with MEN. A point where my protag rails against his own mother knowing about his life as an out gay youth but he is adamant that she doesn’t understand fully what that means. She can translate it to a degree, but she’ll never know what that means for him. Elliot, my main character, is deeply in love with his boyfriend. The hottest jock on the varsity football team – Marco. I wanted to pose the question, what if the geeky artsy gay kid got the hot jock – what then? For a geeky gay kid who was used to the shadows, what would happen if he was dating (on the DL, that is) the highest profile boy on campus? How would it work? How would it fail? And what would be going through his head throughout it all. And I wanted, for once, for the Jock to be the solid one, the unquestioning one in the relationship.




But there again lies the rub. It’s contemplative. It’s introspective. Elliot’s a bit of a mess. Being a out gay kid in a small town (even in Northern California) can do a number even on the strongest psyche. Elliot can’t believe his good fortune when during a completely uneventful summer Marco, the hottest guy in town, not only comes in to his family run DQ, but he tells Elliot he’s been in love with him for the past two years and he can’t hold out any longer. It turns Elliot’s whole world upside down. They have the summer to discover all things about themselves as a couple head over heels in love before the oppressive monster that is high school descends and nearly drowns them in the process. Do they go back to their separate worlds? Do they seek out a way to be openly together? Very tough calls for two gay boys deeply in love. And they are. Deeply. Profoundly. At eighteen they’ve found their soul mate. But what if the world around you didn’t see it that way – what would they do to be together?

So the screws on my characters tighten. The story goes dark – very, very dark. Matthew Shepard with a little Hannibal Lecter dark before the boys will see any light. So the work is deceptive. It begins introspectively in Elliot’s head and heart. It’s messy. It’s erotic, it’s raunchy as only two gay boys could be. Then it all implodes pushing hard to separate my lovers until they’re able to find a way out and back into each others arms again.

I had a discussion with a published author of some renown in the m/m romance field. When I explained the work, she said that my boys could come off as being a bit pervy. My immediate reaction (though I withheld it from her) was ‘gee, do you know any gay boys and what they get into?’ I get that it’s romance, but honey, if it is men on men – you better believe it will be HELLA PERVY by those terms. Men thrive on messy, pervy fun when we’re together. Even our straight boy counterparts bear that out. Ever watch them on an ATC out in the dessert? Thrashing around in the mud? Men love their messes. It’s what makes us happy. I’ve ranted about this before but I truly think I need to defend my boys in Angels. If they are anything, they are honest. Honest in that they are as close to my own experiences in growing up gay. Honest in that they are equal parts raunch as they are euphoric in their love for one another. But most of all they are definitely male. No chicks with dicks in my books.





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Contemplating the stigma of sex… [NSFW]

I’d like to think we live in a growing enlightened age. I’d like to think that. I can’t.

And for an author in M/M erotica, it’s a serious question to ponder.

The reason I think we are still somewhat bassackwards when it cums to sex is that we still can’t put down the whole ludicrous morality issue over it. This is where I think gay men have the slight advantage in coping with society’s overall view with regards to sex. As gay men (of which I am a solid card carrying member – got the toaster oven and everything), I think we are fully cognizant that we’re outside the mainstream box. In a way, that’s completely liberating. We’re sort of expected to be out of the norm. In a real way it can be absolutely terrifying for those not ready to deal with the whole maverick “go your own way” label that gets slapped on you.

This whole inner debate I am having about this was furthered this morning when I happened upon a huffpo gay voices article regarding a gay porn sex worker (Levi Michaels) who had decided to put some of his un-porn life on the web via a YouTube channel.



It was a short, if refreshing, read. I find I am often more fascinated with what these guys do with their non-business life – and not because I am working on my stalker cred, either. Porn is so fleeting for the workers in the business. I have, like many, heard several horror stories of men who couldn’t cope with being in the industry and succumbed to it’s pressures and social stigma’s often associated with it. Sometimes I worry about these men (Arpad Miklos, much? Who I really, really liked as a performer) who may not be planning for their future beyond porn. So it’s sorta refreshing and a sigh of relief that a segment of them do think beyond tomorrow (you go, Levi).

But there is a disparity in how some men approach the business and how it can back fire on them if they aren’t truly forward thinking in their careers. After all, the cock or the ass or a rockin’ bod aren’t the real sexual elements in this equation. We’d like to think it stops there – but it’s the mind that is the truly powerful sexual “organ” we possess. What makes Michaels so off the rails sexy, I think, is his brain. Ditto for Colby Keller (who’s blog I follow religiously) – I fucking love that guy’s mind.

So here’s the reverse side of that:

I mean, take one such individual who for all intents and purposes is gay for pay (but seemed to be doing fairly well at first): Cody Cummings. He presented himself as a fantasy for gay men. Yeah the guy is hot, but ultimately it was very clear that he wasn’t into having sex with men. His ‘gay’ site had a fair amount of straight sex on it. How many gay men love to watch that – I am guessing the numbers aren’t that high. (It’s the same reason why I gripe on Pingay when we get guys posting straight porn pics of guys with mammoth cocks next to some pussy –  um, where’s the gay in that?) It was during that whole miserable phase in the industry “Straight Guys for Gay Eyes” bullshit where a number of cross-over guys who were straight in their own lives thought they could fake it well. That’s not to say that there aren’t a few who do it quite well (I could wax eternal about G4P Bo Dean over this very point).


gay porn promo

Promo piece for gay porn ‘Shadowkiss’ with Cody Cummings and Anthony Romero


What is so sad about this scenario is that for a couple of years was that gay men were following him – were subscribing because the guy is hella hot (gay, straight, or whatever) but soon discovered just how un-gay he was.


Cody Cummings

CODY CUMMINGS in all his tanned up glory.


However I think Cody found himself in the crosshairs of his own audience who really weren’t interested in his having sex with women (we are gay after all, big guy) – in that he had for the most part only let guys suck him off and barely touched another man’s cock (using his toes to do so). There’s a built in homophobia in this sort of phoned in performance. I’m reminded of my high school drama teacher who advised we doe eyed future stars and starlets – “give yourself to the performance 110% – if you phone it in, the audience can tell.” (Truer words were never spoken, Mr. Ray) This is what I believe happened to Cody and it apparently did a number on his numbers (read: subscriptions) and a backlash started to take place (in blogs and in the reviews of his site). In short, he went into damage control mode. But here again is how the whole mainstream morality regarding sex hounds we gay outsiders (sex workers are in with this bunch – gay or g4p). We fall for this sorta shit because we want to believe the fairy tale of it. Even if these fae boys/men wouldn’t dream of actually carrying on a real relationship with a man in their daily lives.

Gay for pay isn’t new. That much is evident. But when you stack someone up like Cody with someone who is also straight (but thankfully gets the whole 110% in the game mentality) like Bo Dean, then the tissue paper facade of Cummings offerings begin to really become apparent.


Bo Dean

G4P BO DEAN (the top) adding what Cody Cummings can’t find within himself: dedication to his craft.


And before detractors and haters comment on my calling out Cummings on his meager offerings – let me be clear: I don’t wish him any real harm or ill times in his future. I truly want all performers to succeed. Having a theatre background, I get the whole putting your shit out there for ridicule or reward mentality. Sex performers get aces in my book because the go where most actors don’t publicly. Cody (or whatever his real name is) is probably a very decent guy just trying to survive and pay the bills (of which I guess also have to deal with a rather hefty alimony to his ex). He knew he had the looks and could play well to the camera (which isn’t always a given in the industry – you may have looks but fall flat because you don’t have that spark that lights up and takes notice when the cameras are turned on). Bo on the other hand gets it. It’s clear from his early work over at Cock Sure Men that he was a straight guy trying to break into the gay porn business. He has a rockin’ look and seems pleasant enough to be around (this from the behind the scenes vids I’ve observed). So Bo Dean gets the gig. He understands and works towards what Cody simply misses the point on. I’ve seen some of Cody’s latest offerings and while he has ‘pushed his limits’ a bit, it is a little bit too late in cumming (sorry, I couldn’t resist – I’ll try and restrain myself).

So how does this go back to that article from Levi Michaels in HuffPo? Well one thing I got from Levi’s interview was that even he sees the change in society’s perception about sex industry workers. Wonder of all wonders: sex workers are people too! Holy shit! Stop the presses (do we even say that anymore?)! Whoda fucking thought, right?


cockyboys doing what they do best

Hottie McHottie COLBY KELLER plows the bejeezus outta lucky LEVI MICHAELS Cockyboys.com


This is some serious good gay man sex going on here!


Jordan Levine gives it good to Levi Michaels.

Fucking at is best – pure rutting with LEVI MICHAELS opening up to top god JORDAN LEVINE for a good power fuck sesh. – Randy Blue Productions


But what I find so refreshing is that, though it isn’t the prevalent opinion yet, that Levi sees some of the stigma of being a sex worker is being lifted the more accessible the performer becomes to his audience. It is this interactivity that humanizes the performer with his fans. Personally, I think this serves the actor as much as it does the audience member. I find that there is a very gratifying feeling with that veil being lifted just a bit. I mean, I am not one of those porn stalker types who can’t separate the fact from the fiction (I work in fiction for Chrissake). But that Levi would ponder doing this himself and finding that others are open to it is really remarkable. Perhaps a small faction within the larger community will sexually liberate themselves from the oppressive social mores and find their own path to sexual awareness and freedom. This is why I like what Levi is doing. Why he is putting a bit more of himself out there. Plus I love his playfulness while doing it. I know it’s not the whole enchilada. I wouldn’t be so bold to ask that of him. I want his privacy for him as much as he does. Maybe that’s because of my many years in semi/pro theatre. I get it. The public vs. private persona. Yet, Mr. Michaels is finding a way to make media work for him personally. I think that’s great. I wish him nothing short of success in that (even if it only is a personal one) I’ll be cheering from the sidelines.

This is something that I think some of the earlier performers never had a chance to connect with their audience and use it to not only further their careers but also to ground them a bit in ours. That’s bloody brilliant, I say. I wish some of the other actors had this much insight or fortitude to do something like that. I think it would completely humanize the industry – and in turn, I would hope, de-stigmatize it.


Okay, I fully get that I may be asking too much.


But like my takeaway from Michaels HuffPo interview, I think what he has set out to do is a win-win for not only him but for the industry at large. Not that everyone in the biz should run out and do it. Like coming out, each will have to find their own way, find their own thread to tug upon and put their spin on their public persona. For some it stops at Twitter, others it maybe to tweet and instagram. Who knows where this will all lead? I’d like to think gradually to an enlightenment and acceptance that sex is not dirty – it is integral to who we are as humans. That it is no longer the thing that titillates us because of the ‘dirty’ status that the mainstream conservatives want us to hold onto. But that trip is all about control. I don’t know about you, but I’d welcome a little true freedom – a little sexual liberation. It’s been a number of decades since the last big hoorah for sexual liquidity and acceptance.

Here’s a thought that I’ve always held about porn – when its REALLY good, then its fucking art. And you can tell the difference. It fucking smacks you in the face like the porn actor just spewed his love juice all over you. A fucking shower of erotic sensations. THAT’S ART! Why? Because of the work that goes into it. These guys really do work at their craft (and believe me – most guys probably couldn’t take the hours or the upkeep to stay vital and desirable in the industry). So yeah, in my book, guys like Antonio Biaggi (my personal go-to), Colby Keller, Anthony Romero, Bo Dean and Levi Michaels are all guys who get their craft and apply their talents and work at making it all work for us. It may be titillating art, it may be provocative art, but it is ART nonetheless. But ONLY when it’s good (sadly, a large chunk of it is purely out for the commercial buck schlock).

So as I contemplate my characters in my books, I am thinking about this. Indeed two of my characters decide to document their love by recording it digitally. For one of the guys, it is because no porn around will equate to watching him making love to the one person he cherishes above all others. He thinks that capturing that is the greatest expression of his love. It’s defiant against the norms, it is forging their own path – and in their case, it won’t devolve into a nasty get back at you if we ever break up moment. My guys get their Ever After, Happily. So for them, it is a way of keeping memories alive. For my football quarterback so enraptured with the geeky gayboy on campus, he can think of no other deeply moving thing than to wrap himself around the love of his life, to know he has him in every way possible. It’s freeing and totally terrifying. The not knowing what new heights they’ll reach together – that’s the adventure he’s signed up for.

So thank you Mr. Michaels. You’ve given this author something to chew on – I mean, I’d already had my boys toying with the whole new media thing in their lives at any rate. You’ve given me something else to ponder. A new trail in the forest that I didn’t realize that was there. By letting my boys in my story explore what it means to be in this technologically enlightened age (even if we’re still striving toward that enlightenment), your musings will give me some of my own. And for that I am grateful – you’ve liberated me.


Levi Michaels

I just love this picture. Love it when guys are really unabashedly playful. VERY in your face SEXY… [LEVI  MICHAELS being his playful self]

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I am tired of translating… [NSFW rant]

Okay, straight up – this is a militant gay rant.

So, for most of my life (and I’ve been around the block far more times than I’d like to count), I’ve had to translate stories, pictures, movies and TV – basically, ALL media – for how my world works. And I am tired of translating. I am tired of using the chick in a romcom as my goto when I am soooooo not a chick. Seriously, full on happy I got a cock and balls! Yeah, I played around with the whole androgynous thing in the 80’s – I mean, who didn’t when you had Boy George, Nick Rhodes, and Peter Burns walking around? There was virtually a license whether you were gay or not to femme it up a bit. We didn’t call it guyliner back then, but shit, it was the same damned thing.


Guyliner gods

Beautiful boys who abuse the guyliner (couldn’t be happier with these guys).


There wasn’t a reason not to, really. If males posses a natural beauty that often doesn’t require any enhancement, I mean, you put a little smudged guyliner on ’em and they fucking just pop out at’cha, right?

Anyway, so back to the translating. I know there are many who are complaining that gays are everywhere. Uh, yeah, always been that way and now you just pulled your head outta your ass and saw that we aren’t hiding our shit any more. My way of thinking? I want MORE gay shit in everyone’s face. Fuck, I got your fucking shit crammed down mine! And here’s the rub – I get the counter argument about running the basic numbers that straights far out number the gays. Okay, I’ll grant you that. But I’ll see your numbers and I’ll counter that there are far more many men who will use the whole gay for pay bit in porn because it gives them the whole “hey, it’s a job” attitude to hide behind. If the social stigma wasn’t there guys would be banging other dudes (whether is a suck or fuck) a helluva lot more often. Guys understand the need to get off – we like to help a brotha out, ya know what I’m sayin’? Cause we get it. Ninety percent of the time it ain’t about the kissey kissey, love fest. The dude just wants to blow a wad and move on. Yeah, to a certain extent even gay guys want the hubby or boyfriend or whatever to come home to and cuddle – just as much as the next guy. But we also get the whole – fuck me, I am bone hard and need a release or I’ll go bat-shit crazy from needing to nut!


Full on bang material.

Now, that’s what I’m talking about!   Full on GANGBANG material –  You go, boy!


Anyway, I didn’t mean to get that deep that quick. But yeah, I sorta am tired to relate to someone else’s story as my own especially when I have to swap genders.  I am gay. Doesn’t mean I am emasculated. I fucking hate that when people expect that when your gay your effeminate. How fucking 1970 Neanderthal can you get? I mean in that reality show “Get Out Alive” there was a straight couple from Georgia and the guy was like completely shocked that the two gay guys on it looked and ACTED like straight guys. Jeezus, head up your ass much in the last 20 years dude?


My go to creative musical muse, Jay Brannan has a brilliant song about this whole concept – it is called Ever After, Happily.



While the entire song is about not having to translate for a gay man’s life, or anyone for that matter, it is the last two lines of the song that haunts me…

“Starting today, I’ll tell the story my way. The King of Imperfection, takes back the Prince of Mistakes…”  – Fucking slays me every time I hear it!

That’s become my mantra. Balls to the wall stories MY way. How my world is. Will they relate to a larger audience – I have absolutely no idea. But what I can know for certain is that they will be MY STORIES/MY WAY. No bones about it (well, wait, no that’s not 100 percent true – my boys will be swinging on a whole lotta bones!) At least they’ll be my perspectives and no one else’s. Other’s may relate, other’s may even share the character’s points of view. But at least I’ll know when I take my last breath upon this Earth, those men will not have to be translated by me. I will know them intimately. And they will be defiantly male.

Now, that’s not to say that I’ll ignore the females in their world. I am not blind nor do I operate in an all male vacuum – would that I could sometimes – no, my women will be strong willed and fiercely independent – even the more mousey variety. But the boys will, by and large, be totally comfortable with themselves in seeking out their own Ever After, Happily.

So yeah, I still have to put up with the whole straight’s dominate schlock that is passed around (I mean, how many times do we have to hear about the head strong female who can’t seem to hook a guy even if she looks like a super model but with a bad hairdo and horrible glasses? Or the bohunk of a guy who can’t seem to find the right girl? Or my absolute favorite (insert heavy dose of sarcasm at will), the star-crossed lovers) – DON’T even get me started on the TV show by the same name!

So yeah, I think I may be getting a bit more militant in my homo-erotic tastes. I’ll still write fully fledged stories with characters across all spectrums, just don’t expect my lovers to be ashamed of who or what they are. That part will (for the most part in my stories) be a thing of the past.

Starting today…

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When porn blurs the line… [NSFW]

So I’ve been trolling one of my favorite sites. Just looking for some hot inspiration to get the creative juices flowing, ya know? And I don’t necessarily mean my juices, although I’m a guy and it’s a pinterest site for gay porn so I guess some of that is bound to happen. I’m a dude, it’s what we do. Well, Pingay is my go-to for a little creative input I need from time to time. But there are enough blogs about porn. What I want is to talk about something a little bent from that horn dog gimme porn or I’ll die scenario. I am a storyteller. Porn isn’t about stories (necessarily). It’s about sex. And to be specific, I am talking about the male on male variety.

But that’s not the thrust of this little ramble. And of course I have a few other sites besides Pingay that I troll for some man on man stimulation. I mean it’s more than just the massive build of his body. More than the allure of his face. Even more than the prodigious endowment of his bone. Though between you and me, it doesn’t hurt to spend time contemplating and imagining what I could do with all of those men on that site. Sure I’m married, and the hubby is definitely number one. Always will be. But I am a writer of M/M romance and erotica so my take on how two men come together is rather important to me. The looks of their eyes when they display their wanton lust for another man. The color of his cheeks when he becomes aroused by the guy he’s grinding against.

But lately, while I like the animalistic rut of say Treasure Island Media’s offerings, I found that there’s another porn studio that’s providing something rather unique – and I am finding it far more erotic to watch than straight up (pardon the expression) gay porn. It’s not just some guy grunting as he bangs his way into oblivion. I know a guy generally doesn’t care where he gets his rocks off. There’s actually a story there – and it’s quite alluring. If I had to choose, oddly enough I think I would generally go with the more erotic offering. Perhaps that’s the writer in me. I am not saying which one is better than the other. That’s not my rant here. And I am not saying that we need to pair them up necessarily.  Hard core slam fuck fest of gay man on man breeding or something just as scintillating yet with an erotically charged intro to really put some perspective on things. Even a bit of humor that’ll have your cheeks a little bit warmer (along with other parts of your body).  A cornucopia of eroticism to plunder.  Normally I wouldn’t be into it. Not because I am a let’s cut to the chase sort of guy either, its just that the guys in these flicks are generally gay for pay and can barely speak – they’re hired for their looks and their sexual prowess, not their intellect and panache in front of a camera. Or so I thought.  I was surprised that a gay porn studio wasn’t just another gay porn studio. I found it left me wanting more…

Of course it didn’t mean I had to stave off the other. But to fuck without some context or not was the question roiling around in my head. There was no reason why a scripted and well acted piece of porn couldn’t be engaging in that way. As long as it ended in an explosion of male testosterone and erupting man milk. Two powerful well toned or muscled bodies colliding in a sexual battle of want and desire. In short, a BIG HOT MESS.

CockyBoys has a series of movies that appeal to this more erotic, get to know your models aspect to it. And, while scripted, it’s surprisingly well acted – even for a porn actor.

I watched one recently with Colby Keller. I don’t know why I am drawn to this guy but he has a sparkle in his eye that catches my attention.

Colby Keller Facial Shot

Colby Keller in all his stunning glory…

Maybe it’s his ease in front of the camera? Maybe it’s his balls to the wall out there in your face sexuality? Perhaps because he’s unabashedly who he is. Maybe that’s the greatest allure of all. Confidence without being cocky. Where confidence is still sexy. Still tangible, still within reach.


A Thing of Beauty animated gif.

Colby Keller (seated), Gabriel Clark sandwich JD Phoenix from CockyBoy’s “A Thing of Beauty” Series.

Another is the Anthony Romero and Austin Wilde pairing in several CockyBoy videos. That series is very erotic as it is sexual. I like the series very much. Whether or not it’s real, it behaves like it is. The actors both acknowledge they’re in the business. They both acknowledge what being in porn and being in a relationship means for them.


Cockyboys Austin WIlde and Anthony Romero kiss on a bridge.

Austin Wilde (left) and his ‘boyfriend’ Anthony Romero share an intimate moment.



It’s a rather interesting approach. I was quite surprised that it worked on so many levels. For one, you get about 3 or 4 minutes of them just talking very intimately with the camera, in other words, you, and tell you a bit about how they met, how it works for them to both be in the business but how the ‘work’ remains at work and they are there for each other after all is done with the shoot. It’s a very intimate and revealing portrait. And I realize that it may just all be make believe for the viewer. Or it may in fact be real, the guys are that good at playing the part. There is a whole series of videos that explore what this ‘relationship’ is like under these circumstances. If it’s scripted, then it’s worlds away from standard porn fair – gay or straight or anything in between. Who cares if it’s fake. If feels  believable. As writers of male/male erotica, isn’t that what we’re after as well?


Austin Wilde Fucks Boyfriend Anthony Romero

Austin WIlde fucks his ‘real-life’ lover Anthony Romero in a Cocyboys porn series highlighting ‘real-life’ couples who work in the business


I really like these three guys (Keller, Romero, and Wilde). They are serious business men in the porn industry but they seem to have their heads screwed on straight (so to speak). Keller even blogs about his experiences at colbykeller.com. His blog is introspective, very bright and intelligent (a sexy guy who is unashamed of his sexuality and very intelligent on top – Jesus, he’s practically a god among porn men). It doesn’t hurt one iota that he’s auburn/ginger and a scruffy man’s man either. That’s hella hot no matter how you cut it. That he has a brain, self deprecating humor and a dry wicked wit, just makes him rather stellar in my book. He ain’t bad to watch having sex either.

Keller even had a scene with Anthony Romero which was also hot. It played a bit with the whole Anthony in a relationship and in the biz thing a bit. So Cockyboys definitely keep an eye to their own catalog and the worlds they’re trying to build. I am finding this type of porn very inspiring. It’s erotic, it’s filled with testosterone and manliness and at times lust driven hard core, flesh slapping’ sex. Now that’s my kind of inspiration.

If porn would do a bit more of this then I’m all for it. The story doesn’t have to drag on forever (though there is a series that Cockyboys did called ‘The Haunting’ that was quite interesting). Very paranormal in both texture and its deep use of homo-eroticism. Sexy as all fuck. My kinda horror flick. Yeah, I am sooooo over the whole guy needs a girl to be a man thing. So 1960’s Mad Men. Over it – BIG TIME!

And that’s a very good thing in my book…

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