{"id":24,"date":"2014-04-25T16:59:44","date_gmt":"2014-04-25T16:59:44","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/biz141.inmotionhosting.com\/~akweko6\/sacollins.com\/wp\/?p=24"},"modified":"2014-04-25T19:12:52","modified_gmt":"2014-04-25T19:12:52","slug":"feeling-a-bit-vulnerable-with-my-shit-out-there","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"http:\/\/www.sacollins.com\/blog-wp\/?p=24","title":{"rendered":"Feeling a bit vulnerable with my shit out there…"},"content":{"rendered":"

Author’s Note<\/strong>: \u00a0This is a converted blog post. It originally was published on 04.17.14 @ 7:53pm, US Pacific.<\/p>\n

\n

So here\u2019s my deal with the whole writing thing that is so fucking out there scary. I mean – it\u2019s my shit, and well… it\u2019s out there, on the internet. While it was mine, on my computer, I was okay with its being in existence. Not that I am ashamed of the work or anything like that. I mean, all writers have to start somewhere. I get that it\u2019s all part of the equation. And it\u2019s not like I am not into public displays of my work, either. After all, I am a classically trained singer so I\u2019ve trod a multitude of stages with audiences both large and small. So no, it\u2019s not the public thing. Not really.<\/p>\n

Okay, maybe it is.<\/p>\n

Talk about the total flip-flopping – yeah, that\u2019s me on the topic of publishing. Part of me won\u2019t ever want to read ANY review – even if, as one published author told me, they\u2019re \u201cpushing so much sunshine up your backside that you get a sunburn from the experience.\u201d<\/p>\n

Plus, now that I have one complete novel \u201cin the can\u201d – so to speak, I can see how my writing has grown just from the experience of completing that first novel. I look back at the works I\u2019ve been hammering out before and think – holy fuck, I gotta fix this!\u00a0<\/i><\/p>\n

Then again, maybe it isn\u2019t fixing<\/i> that needs to happen. Maybe, just maybe<\/i>, I just need to breathe.<\/p>\n

There\u2019s no reason to panic.<\/p>\n

There\u2019s no reason to freak.<\/p>\n

It\u2019s digital bytes and bits, bro. All editable. In this e-age, nothing can\u2019t be written that you can\u2019t elevate to v2.0 – it\u2019s all in the marketing, right?<\/p>\n

Yeah, MARKETING…<\/p>\n

Now there\u2019s something to grapple with. Even with all of the information that\u2019s out there (almost too much of it, actually) that you really don\u2019t know what\u2019ll work for a budding novelist who is thinking of publishing all on his lonesome. I mean, in that way I control the distribution and keep ALL of the rights. But then again, I gotta figure out how to get it all out there.<\/p>\n

BY MYSELF!<\/p>\n

Okay, the hubby helps a lot too. So, that\u2019s definitely in the big plus column. And I\u2019ve got very honest friends who\u2019ll tell me – yeah, that\u2019s shit, fix it.<\/p>\n

So I\u2019m good there. I guess…<\/p>\n

See? While I write about Angels, it\u2019s this new Demon that\u2019s come crawling out of my inner woodwork: Doubt<\/i><\/b><\/span>.<\/p>\n

But the battle rages on…<\/p>\n

Hey, I wrote this, didn\u2019t I?<\/em><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Author’s Note: \u00a0This is a converted blog post. It originally was published on 04.17.14 @ 7:53pm, US Pacific. So here\u2019s my deal with the whole writing thing that is so fucking out there scary. I mean – it\u2019s my shit, and well… it\u2019s out there, on the internet. While it was mine, on my computer, […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_publicize_message":"","jetpack_publicize_feature_enabled":true,"jetpack_social_post_already_shared":false,"jetpack_social_options":{"image_generator_settings":{"template":"highway","default_image_id":0,"font":"","enabled":false},"version":2}},"categories":[7,3],"tags":[21,17,20,19,728,10],"class_list":["post-24","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-my-what-the-fuck-on-the-media","category-novel-writing","tag-freaking-out","tag-novel","tag-scared","tag-vulnerable","tag-writing","tag-wtf"],"jetpack_publicize_connections":[],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack_shortlink":"https:\/\/wp.me\/p75tPU-o","jetpack-related-posts":[{"id":4,"url":"http:\/\/www.sacollins.com\/blog-wp\/?p=4","url_meta":{"origin":24,"position":0},"title":"Angels of Mercy – Musings On Writing My First Novel","author":"S A Collins","date":"April 25, 2014","format":false,"excerpt":"Authors Note: I've moved to a self hosted WP from the web development integrated version of my blog. This was originally posted on 04.15.14 @6:49 pm\u00a0 So here\u2019s the deal with writing: It\u2019s one of the most excruciating and transformative processes I think you can go through. Excruciating because you\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Media Musings"","block_context":{"text":"Media Musings","link":"http:\/\/www.sacollins.com\/blog-wp\/?cat=7"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":1011,"url":"http:\/\/www.sacollins.com\/blog-wp\/?p=1011","url_meta":{"origin":24,"position":1},"title":"Running with Wolves…","author":"S A Collins","date":"October 26, 2014","format":false,"excerpt":"Running with Wolves... \u00a0 So the NaNoWritMo event is coming up. I have to admit this is the first time I've heard of it. I guess I had my head down on my own shit I was writing to think about any sort of writing event outside of my carefully\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Abuse and Neglect"","block_context":{"text":"Abuse and Neglect","link":"http:\/\/www.sacollins.com\/blog-wp\/?cat=333"},"img":{"alt_text":"Participant-2014-Web-Banner","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/biz141.inmotionhosting.com\/~akweko6\/sacollins.com\/wp\/wp-content\/uploads\/2014\/10\/Participant-2014-Web-Banner-300x111.jpg?resize=350%2C200","width":350,"height":200,"srcset":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/biz141.inmotionhosting.com\/~akweko6\/sacollins.com\/wp\/wp-content\/uploads\/2014\/10\/Participant-2014-Web-Banner-300x111.jpg?resize=350%2C200 1x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/biz141.inmotionhosting.com\/~akweko6\/sacollins.com\/wp\/wp-content\/uploads\/2014\/10\/Participant-2014-Web-Banner-300x111.jpg?resize=525%2C300 1.5x"},"classes":[]},{"id":1158,"url":"http:\/\/www.sacollins.com\/blog-wp\/?p=1158","url_meta":{"origin":24,"position":2},"title":"When is a goal not a goal?","author":"S A Collins","date":"November 25, 2014","format":false,"excerpt":"When is a goal not a goal? Answer: When the 50K word count has been reached but you ain't done with the danged book! \u00a0 \u00a0 So my NaNoWriMo goal is within sight - I'll have my 50K tucked away by this evening and I'll post it for validation. Whoo-hoo!\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Authors Voices"","block_context":{"text":"Authors Voices","link":"http:\/\/www.sacollins.com\/blog-wp\/?cat=377"},"img":{"alt_text":"My newly created cover image.","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/biz141.inmotionhosting.com\/~akweko6\/sacollins.com\/wp\/wp-content\/uploads\/2014\/11\/homo_banner.png?resize=350%2C200","width":350,"height":200,"srcset":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/biz141.inmotionhosting.com\/~akweko6\/sacollins.com\/wp\/wp-content\/uploads\/2014\/11\/homo_banner.png?resize=350%2C200 1x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/biz141.inmotionhosting.com\/~akweko6\/sacollins.com\/wp\/wp-content\/uploads\/2014\/11\/homo_banner.png?resize=525%2C300 1.5x"},"classes":[]},{"id":88,"url":"http:\/\/www.sacollins.com\/blog-wp\/?p=88","url_meta":{"origin":24,"position":3},"title":"How much gay sex is too much?","author":"S A Collins","date":"April 26, 2014","format":false,"excerpt":"So the hubby sent me an article that proved to be a bit enlightening (and informative from a historical standpoint). Read it here... It gave me pause for thought. While I have my first novel in the can (so to speak - still working out the kinks in edits), it\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Giving Back"","block_context":{"text":"Giving Back","link":"http:\/\/www.sacollins.com\/blog-wp\/?cat=48"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":1190,"url":"http:\/\/www.sacollins.com\/blog-wp\/?p=1190","url_meta":{"origin":24,"position":4},"title":"Covering Old Ground","author":"S A Collins","date":"December 6, 2014","format":false,"excerpt":"Covering Old Ground - More Cover Artwork for HO'M,O - Henry O'Malley, Omega. \u00a0 So here I am again- more discussion on the arc of creating a look\/feel for a book I've been putting together. It started out simple enough (almost bland in it's simplicity): \u00a0 \u00a0 Actually this is\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Authors Voices"","block_context":{"text":"Authors Voices","link":"http:\/\/www.sacollins.com\/blog-wp\/?cat=377"},"img":{"alt_text":"My newly created cover image.","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/biz141.inmotionhosting.com\/~akweko6\/sacollins.com\/wp\/wp-content\/uploads\/2014\/11\/homo_banner-300x150.png?resize=350%2C200","width":350,"height":200},"classes":[]},{"id":894,"url":"http:\/\/www.sacollins.com\/blog-wp\/?p=894","url_meta":{"origin":24,"position":5},"title":"I’m a Scrivener, and this is how I do it…","author":"S A Collins","date":"September 21, 2014","format":false,"excerpt":"I'm a Scrivener, and this is how I do it... \u00a0 Okay, this one is for all of my fellow authors out there. And fair warning - this is a generalistic overview of this remarkable application. I'll dig deeper if others seem interested in the offering. 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